It has been over 3 weeks since the Women’s March took place across the globe. I came down with the stomach flu the night before this milestone event and I remember being incredibly disappointed at that time – however, being forced to stay home and sit on the couch was a strange blessing. It meant that I had plenty of time to think about how I wanted stay involved with so many issues at stake.
“We have to pace ourselves,” a wise friend recently reminded me. “Either that or we’ll just burn out.”
Activism is vitally important. Yet for many of us the thought of adding one more “to do” item, one more meeting, one more cause pulls us precariously close to the edge. The edge of exhaustion.
You see, we already know how to push ourselves hard. But, does our “selflessness”, and our so-called “resilience” come at a price? We frequently dismiss self-care as “selfish” – forgoing sleep, or exercise, or doing nothing in favor of doing MORE.
But think about it - self-care isn’t selfish. If we are going to take on more and remain resilient there are some lessons for all of us to remember.
South African social rights activist and renowned opponent of apartheid, Desmond Tutu tackles this dilemma eloquently when he asks, “Do you know how to eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”
Self-care is about mindfulness. It’s about managing energy and about choosing to take care of ourselves.
So, let’s get back to the elephant for a moment. I’ve been thinking about my own small bites, the actions I will take moving forward.
First, I will continue to enlarge my own circle so that I can understand different points of view. I will spend time with people who see things differently than I do—acknowledging that diversity of thought is a powerful way to create understanding, build communities, and work for the things that are important. I will also do what I can in my own life to make sure that those less fortunate, those who are struggling or facing hardship, aren’t forgotten or neglected or invisible. And I will pace myself.
“I am only one, but still I am one,” said Edmund Everett Hale. “I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.”
I will give my time to good causes and I will not judge how others spend their time. I will strive to understand issues and concerns that have not been my own.
I will also give myself permission to take time to do nothing. You heard me. Nothing. Easier said than done. But, if I am going to be involved in my local community, pay attention to national and world affairs, I will need to unplug now and again.
I will remain hopeful and take a stand on issues that are not only important but intolerable. Yes, there are many. So, I will remember to take one bite at a time.
Self-care isn’t selfish. It can help us focus on what is truly important. It will provide us with the energy needed for the journey ahead. What is truly important for you? And how will you take care of yourself?